A LESSON IN PHYSICAL PRESENCE
Let us make one thing crystal clear before you reach for the measuring tape: RØSTEN does not make «slim fit». We do not produce tight, synthetic sausage casings designed to show off that you managed to force yourself to the gym twice last week.
Our garments are architectural streetwear. They are heavy, boxy and constructed to fall stiffly and arrogantly around your body. The point is not to highlight your shape, but to build a solid, impenetrable wall of premium cotton between you and the rest of humanity.
Here are the rules. Read them carefully — we do not really have time to handle returns caused by your lack of self-awareness.
THE FIT PHILOSOPHY
- T-shirts («ESSENS»): Cut in a boxy fit. That means wider across the shoulders and chest, but marginally shorter in length so the fabric does not gather in a tragic clump around your hips. Buy your usual size for the intended, structured look. Go up a size if you wish to drown completely.
- Hoodies («FREKVENS») and crewnecks («KLANG»): Extremely oversized with massive weight (up to nearly a kilo of cotton). Dropped shoulders. We have already built in enough volume to hide a considerable number of complexes, so stick to your normal size. Buy too big here and you will look like a tent. A very expensive and exclusive tent, but a tent nonetheless.
FIND YOUR FREQUENCY (SIZE RECOMMENDATION)
SMALL
For those who are irritatingly compact yet still demand their rightful place in the room. The garment will give you a false, but sorely needed, sense of width.
MEDIUM
The generic gold standard. Perfect for those who are average in every conceivable way, but hope that a sweater costing several thousand kroner will hide precisely that fact.
LARGE
For those who need extra room for their ego, or who are actually built to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. This is the size where the drape and fall of the garments truly come into their own.
X-LARGE / XXL
For those who physically tower over the landscape and require irresponsible amounts of fabric to stay warm in their cold, cynical everyday life. Thrown on as a protective layer against the incompetence of the outside world.
HOW TO MEASURE (IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST)
Should you, against all odds, own a measuring tape and feel a burning need to use it, here are the instructions:
- Chest: Measure around the widest part of your chest. Breathe out. Stop sucking in your stomach — we both know it is there, and the RØSTEN fit is designed to forgive your culinary sins anyway.
- Length: Our t-shirts end slightly higher than your generic H&M tee. This is deliberate, so the proportions come out right. Live with it.
- Shoulders: The seam is designed to fall onto your upper arm (drop shoulder). If the seam sits tightly on top of your actual shoulder, you have either bought a size too small, or you are built like a 90s bouncer.
Still in doubt?
Use common sense. And if you are wavering between two sizes: always choose the larger one. It is always better to hide in too much dark luxury than to look like you shrank in the wash.